SoNatA KaSIHkU...

11:07AM
05July2009
SUNday
Bought myself a novel last FRI...SONATA KASIH...it's like reading about myself.there's me in HAWA...the way she loved YUN,a character which is a mystery in the story untill the end.so hard to loved some1 who in return already stopped loving us back...we cant't stop loving,we can't hated him,but we can't be with him....not even knowing what happens to him...don't know what he's been through really hurts.

I used to shared his pains and sorrows....used to have fun together...used to be
around whenever we need each other.most of the time....i always be around him.& the result.....i already lost him.for good?only God knows.....

he should be hated by me for all he did to me.that's what every1 told me.but the love i had for him is too much until i can't even hate him for even an inch of my heart...actually i did'nt felt like having any heart anymore.he's the best ever happens in my life...i gave him everything i had to comfort him.i prays every moments for him but God decided our destiny is away from each other.
u knew i loved u....u knew i always love u...but my love never enough to make u decide to be with me.sometimes when the pains is too much....i wish i die.i told u i die without u before rite?i know how mad u r at me when i said those words...but still,u have to leave me.but..no matter what,i always want u to be happy..no matter how much u hurt me.i don't want u to ever felt this pain i felt.that's why i left u when u decided to be with her,even u don't want me to leave u.
i can't share u An,and she also don't want me to be in your life.even u said that she don't have to know about us...i don't want u cheating on her anymore bcoz of me.as u being very honest with me all this while,i also want u to be honest with her.

it's between me & her....u cannot have both.so..u decide it's her...no matter u beg me not to leave,how many times u called to reach me,no matter what u said in your smses...i can't be with u anymore.u'll never see me anymore,never hear my voice until i am strong enough to see u.

it's hard living without u...with nobody to share my feelings...facing it alone.i don't know how to love any1 else after i loved u.i lose a part of myself the moment i lose u...i can still feel your pains,your sorrow even we're not together anymore.all i can do is crying over it,hoping u'll be fine.i hope u shared what we shared before with her....the one u choose,the one u said u can't share u pains n sorrow with but u'll share your whole life with!

i'm letting u go...or actually ignoring u inside me.it's still as hard as the first moments....but i know i had to let u go for good one day.i wish i could tell u i had some1,some part u still the best i had....but most important is,he's with me...loves me...understands me...& he's the 1 when i need some1 to be with whenever i am in sorrow bcoz of u.
i hope u happy with what u choosed.i told u...u never can turn back to me once u decide to leave me & i wish i'm strong enough to push u away again...& again.i never happy to let u down...but i had to.